Eat. Pray. Love

I've been reading this book for the last week. To be honest, I've tried not to read too many pages at once as I am so enthralled with this story, I never want it to end. Liz Gilbert has become my idol and apart from the fact she reminds me of myself in so many ways, her story has resonated with me in a way I didn't think possible. It is so enlightening to read about someone who embarks on a journey that makes such perfect sense in your own personal reality. I feel as though I am reading about myself at times, it's very peculiar!

I have begun the week meditating, just 10-15 mins a day in the morning; I find I have neglected that very important part of my spiritual journey. I read how Elizabeth had been meditating for such a long time that one day she entered the void. A place, well...it's not really a place....it's simply a state of neverending bliss.....there are no desires, no wants, a disspiation of the egoic mind - a state of complete union with the universe and god....simple stillness and tranquility....I hope to go there one day...in fact....it is within us always she says...it is up to us to enter this state.

This week good things are happening. The mind is full of positivity and awaiting all that is to come! Ella (my daughters name) is kick kicking away,..looking forward to sharing her goodness and light in this world...and I can't wait to meet her. 5 months to go...

xxxxx

October sunshine

It's the middle of October and spring has finally sprung. The streets are scented with jasmin and honeysuckle, the air is light and warm and the surrounding suburban streets look peaceful in their greenery beneath sunset skies....oh I am a poet am I not? :) There is true beauty if only you choose to focus on it! I miss so much of back home and find myself reminiscing too often but I have also noticed that if you do look, you do find beauty, perhaps not in the same shape or form as to what you're used to, but it is there and there's definitely no need to compare. All places are unique in their very own way.

Life is peaceful and although moving at a slower pace than I'd like, I am enjoying it. The weather seems to have a made a difference to moods and I feel like I can enjoy myself more. My pregnancy is going smoothly (18 weeks tomorrow!) , I feel absolutely great and of course in awe of the tiny little person growing each day inside me. This very special person....a new light in this world....My belly has grown but I am still hiding it well! The beauty of having a flat stomach and good stomach muscles! I am looking forward to having more of a noticeable bump though soon!

It's been a long weekend and I have been revelling in the quietness of it all. Just enjoying simple pleasures and looking forward to the months to come however stressful they may get, I will make the most of them. You only get pregnant for the first time once and I feel truly blessed. I'd be lying if I said I didn't worry or think about whether the timing is right or whether I should have done more before having a child. But when on earth is the timing right? If it happens, see it is a gift and live the moment just as it is without preocupying yourself too much with what ifs...life would be a constant mental battle if you did....

I look back at my life and I realise that really, I have done a lot with my life. I've lived abroad for over two years in two countries (Spain and Chile), been to university in a different city for three years, had various relationships (been the heartbreaker as well as the heartbroken) have experienced countless levels of emotions through personal experiences and journeys which have made me stronger and a better person, met some amazing people throughout (some who have touched me in ways I never imagined), partied good and hard, travelled to different continents and pretty much always strived to live life to the fullest, as cliche as it may sound, I have always been that way, indulging myself in life and the pleasures it has to offer and I've been very blessed with my life experiences (even the bad moments as I see them all as opportunities!) - so I'm almost 30 now and so glad I didn't marry young but instead enjoyed my early twenties as a "single" person as much as possible....when I met my other half 2 years ago it was like a sigh of relief....I can finally settle down now! I've met the one person who makes sense to me and I've done all that I've had to do, I feel like I've got it all out of my system and I'm ready to take the next step....and live life to the fullest with the love of my life. This is a whole new part of my life now and I don't think I could be any more ready. I am of course a little worried about being a mother, but what first time expectant mother isn't? It's so exciting and an absolutely beautiful experience that I can't really put it into words. However "scary" it might be....the beautiful feelings override the rest. I have some amazing friends here, many of whom are actually pregnant too which was quite a surprise! It's great to have that support network when you're a thousand miles away from your home and family. You need to have some kind of familiarity, it helps ease any worries or pains...

Right now, the only thing on my agenda is to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and to RELAX. I need to repeat that to myself as often as possible. Nothing ever stays the same so it's important to enjoy the present.

Much love.

Peoples Energies

I've always found it incredibly hard to deal with unresponsive people. By unresponsive, I mean individuals who seem to pull away emotionally regardless of how nice, friendly and open someone is to them. You can sense it in their energy and how they interact with you; an almost disinterested look in their eyes, superficiality in their smile and just basic non communication.

I don't why, but upon arriving here and meeting certain people just like this, it took me a while to get used to their ways and accept them. But of course, there are all sorts of people and not everyone will respond to you in a way you might expect. Variety is of course the spice of life, n'est pas?

I've always found it so easy to make friends and not wanting to sound big headed at all, know that a lot of people like me, I'm easy to talk to, I'm genuinely interested in other peoples lives and stories and take time to listen to them; I like to help people out and many times feel strong compassion and empathy towards others, even those I hardly know and I guess I expect the best back from people. I've been told many times, watch it, you're too nice you'll get hurt easily and careful, you seem to always expect the best in people...

I'm a people pleaser and find it easy to adapt to peoples personalities not actually changing the way I am but more so trying to empathise with others and make them feel comfortable. To be honest, I'm pretty proud of those characteristics.

Of course the aforementioned people I met here at the beginning of my arrival into this country never truly got to know the real me and I guess I can only ascertain that they must have judged me by projecting their own insecurities and fears on me.

While it's sad that people are still so unconscious and lost in an illusion of ego and lacking in unconditional love and kindness (judgement, insecurity, fear, jealousy, envy..) at least I have become stronger from the experience. I know not to judge others and to accept them as they are regardless of what walk of life they come from. Not all energies necessarily mesh right. But I am proud to be me and proud to be liked and loved by so many.

It's important that in the future I simply walk away from those with whom I just don't mesh and instead focus on those with loving energy who I can resonate with so much better. I mean, what's the point of struggling with those who are on a completely different vibrational level than you are? Just walk away from them of course always sending love their way just knowing that you and them are just not on the same path.

I am back...

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging...in a whole month!! It's been a very up and down last few weeks what with the pregnancy and plans for moving (no plans yet as they keep falling through); I just had my mind on other things. The mind...our greatest enemy? I think and worry too much at times but I have definitely learnt to control it better through meditation or just by repeating certain phrases to myself. I must also look at the current situation as a challenge to learn from rather than see it as all black and grey. I have always been lucky in life and had what I wanted but recently things aren't going as quickly as I'd like and I suppose being pregnant just makes me all the more anxious but I try to just sit back and enjoy the present moment more and try to be more patient. Patience. Yes one of my greatest lessons I think. I know that eventually all will be absolutely fine and I'll look back at this time with a smile...

The great thing is its spring now and the trees and flowers are all in bloom and it's an absolute pleasure to walk to work inhaling the floral scents and seeing everything so green and beautiful....it's been a long cold winter and I needed this....

The great thing is my first trimester nausea has gone but I do get the occasional migraine which I try to heal myself with reiki. What an energy!!! Apart from that I am feeling wonderful, not much of a belly yet at all but it's getting there slowly but surely.
lots of love to all.

What Now

I've been repeating to myself over and over again to just keep calm, that all will be well and not to worry. But over the last few days, certain events are so out of my control that I can't help but worry. I wonder if it is all a learning process and whether I'm supposed to learn something from it all..patience? Perhaps. Acceptance? Most probably. I have closed up and inside feel withered and disappointed and wonder if we'll truly be OK? I do honestly hope so and will continue to believe that all is well whatever life throws at me now. I have my health, a husband who truly is too good to be true, two wonderful cats and a family who adore me. I will focus on these amazing things I currently have in my life and just allow the positive energy to flow....it is there, I just need to tap into it more.

Much love.

Negative Times

It is far too easy to dwell on the negative when in a stressful or worrisome situation but unfortunately for many, it is all we can see. The bad and the very ugly - your mind gets caught up in the heat of it all and no exit appears to be in sight. Why do we let our minds control us in so many ways? If only we realised that it truly is all in our heads and what we think and focus on manifests in our current lives and plays out exactly according to our thought vibrations.



When stressed, down, and lost in the grey murkiness of it all, one way I come out of it is by appreciating what I have in the moment rather than wanting what I do not have yet. Be it a changing situation, better job, closer relationships, bigger appartment, etc etc. Instead of focusing on the invisible and not yet attainable, focus on the here, the now and all that you currently have in your life and feeling truly thankful and at ease with the present moment, emotions, friends and belongings.

We are truly blessed. If only we would be more present to realise this.

Much love.

Reiki and Baby

Last weekend was a very special weekend for me. I completed Reiki level 1 and received my four attunements by the Reiki master Vamzu-Jo (who by the way was an angel, an absolute treasure). It was a three day course and there were about 17 of us, all absolutely lovely people and we really bonded. We spent the weekend learning and understanding Reiki, its history and meaning, how the healing energy works and how to manage our new found energy with the attunements. We had a few healing sessions which were indescribable, the at first cold room filled with heat as we concentrated on healing and followed through with the different hand positions.

Another miracle is that my first trimester nausea, which I have been suffering badly with, has more or less gone after this weekend! Now, both mummy and baby are attuned and can give healing energy. I have self healed and given a few sessions to the cats and husband! Oh and even to the plant! :)

A BEAUTIFUL weekend, one I will never forget for the rest of my life.

Today I am 10 weeks pregnant. I get very emotional everytime I look down on to my (still very flat!!) belly and think of the MIRACLE growing inside! Last week we saw the second scan and could make out arms and legs, wow, that really was breathtaking.

Whoever the little treasure will be, he/she will be AMAZING. FULL OF LOVE. LOVED. A TRUE POSITIVE SOUL. I WILL LOVE HER/HIM WITH EVERY OUNCE OF ENERGY IN EVERY CELL OF MY BODY.

I LOVE YOU!!!!